In our school, we have a mixed-age program so about half of the children leave for kindergarten each year, and we start the new school year with our class consisting of half returning 4-year-olds and half new 3-year-olds. This also takes a lot of getting used to, relationship building, and relationship adjusting. The "top dogs" of last year are not there to run the place anymore, and the new "big kids" who used to be the little kids must figure out their new role.
This year we also rearranged the whole school, so that none of the areas are in the same place they used to be. This changes the whole flow that the returning kids were familiar with, so in some ways we are all new kids. Nobody remembers where we keep the scissors because they're not where they used to be.
With all this adjusting and learning and relationship building to do, it's easy for teachers to give directions to try to make everything go smoothly. "Go wash your hands." "Get your water bottle." "Put the cap on the marker." These may sound innocuous enough, but when you look at it a different way,
"when a child is told what to do, he or she has only two choices: (a) do as requested — acquiesce, or (b) not do as requested — rebel."
This quote comes from Tom Drummond in his article "Enterprise Talk" which provides teachers with "a handrail to integrity and authenticity."
He goes on to say, "Neither acquiescence nor rebellion is a value I want to teach. They are not on my list of attributes of good character. I want children in my community to take the initiative to act responsibly for the good of themselves and the good of others. If adults constantly tell children what to do, they eliminate the possibility of initiative."
Because we are a democratic school that helps the children create their own "agreements" or rules of how they want to be together, we agree that we don't value either acquiescence or rebellion. A functioning democratic society requires well-informed citizens capable of making their own choices and using critical thinking to question everything. So, we are working on unlearning the old teacher habits we used to have and retrofitting our toolboxes with Tom Drummond's guidelines:
"No Directions, No Questions, No Praise.
This is an admonition to eliminate doing what doesn’t work....I invite you to stop telling other people what to do....I invite you to stop asking questions about what to do....I invite you to stop praising what children do."
Instead, here's what we are trying to replace old language with. All quotes below are from Tom Drummond, the link to the original article is above, below, and here.
Descriptions
"You have a yellow bolt. Four of you are working together. Clouds of pink fill the page. Those are called quads. The pen dried out. It smells sour. Descriptions convey in language what the child can perceive presently—what the child is now seeing, hearing, feeling, touching, smelling."Narrations
"You brought the stapler. Jenny is folding the scarves. You are filling it up to the very top. Mark is handing out the cups. Carlos joins us. You hung up your coat. Narrations put the child's actions into words as the child is doing it—like a sports announcer delivering play by play coverage of events as they occur. Most narrations start with “You…” or the child’s name."Subjective-Talk
"I am watching you. I’ll be right back. I have to go get the lunch. I saw you and Yolanda at the store. My cat keeps eating the butter. I enjoy seeing your paintings. I have towels if you need them. Subjective-talk is about your own actions and thoughts that relate to the child's current situation. Most self-talk statements begin with “I…” "Non-Verbal Recognition
"Wink. Smile. Send a positive message in the way you hold your body, the expression on your face and the noises you make. Wooo! Zowie! Yeah-yeah-YEAH! Communicate your pleasure in valued behavior by facial expressions and body language."Intrinsically-Phrased Responses
"ENJOYMENT “It’s fun to do, isn’t it?”
pleasure ~ delight ~ happiness ~ thrill ~ joy ~ amusement ~ gratification
good feelings ~ savor that inside ~ pride ~ satisfaction
good feelings ~ savor that inside ~ pride ~ satisfaction
COMPETENCE “You did it!”
success ~ mastery ~ have the know-how ~ expertise ~ accomplishment
achievement ~ attainment ~ have the skill ~ a talent ~ knack
achievement ~ attainment ~ have the skill ~ a talent ~ knack
CLEVERNESS “That’s tricky.”
a new idea ~ unique ~ brainy ~ smart ~ intelligent ~ bright
~ witty ~ sharp ~ ingenious ~ quick ~ original
~ witty ~ sharp ~ ingenious ~ quick ~ original
GROWTH “You’re sure getting bigger!”
ready for new challenges ~ older now ~ something new
~ more grown-up ~ more independent"
~ more grown-up ~ more independent"
This doesn't mean that there are no limits or boundaries. Young children very much need limits and boundaries to feel safe and in control. For example, we obviously can't let children continue hitting or hurting someone else while we stand there figuring out what to say. We can't let children run out in the street or break toys on purpose. But maybe there are some things we can let go of that seem like traditional musts. Yes, we have a culture of washing hands before eating, but if one child doesn't do it one day, is it the end of the world? Usually we don't stand on the table, but if a child needs to reach to build a taller tower, is it okay? Some schools have an unbendable "up the ladder, down the slide" rule. But what creative play, physical challenges and negotiations are lost without the freedom to try to climb up the slide with a rope?
It takes a long time to unlearn old habits and re-train ourselves, but in the couple of years that I've been working on learning this new way I can tell you it is well worth the effort. Where I used to get into battles with children over picking up their belongings, clean up time, saying sorry, coming when I call, etc., I now have let go of the need to control them so tightly. I can give them information and let them come to a choice of action in their own time. "If you leave your blankie on the floor, someone might step on it or trip on it." If it matters to them, they will pick it up and put it somewhere safe. If it only matters to me that the walkway is clear, then I'm the one that should pick it up. But I'll narrate what I'm doing and why, to act as a model. "I'm going to put away this puzzle that no one is using so that the pieces all stay together." Instead of saying "Wash your hands for snack" I now say, "It's snack time. When you're ready you can wash your hands and get some snack."
This technique is especially crucial in times of conflict and stress, and with those children who need extra support being successful in the classroom. For children who don't read others' body language, you can narrate and describe what you see happening and what you think it means. "Bryce is putting his hands up and saying no. I think he wants to protect his block structure so it stays standing up." For children who have a hard time joining others' play appropriately, you can notice and wonder. "Sophie and Elliot are making a stew. I wonder what else they need for it?" In fact, "I notice" and "I wonder" are miracle words that work in millions of situations.
I wanted to introduce you to Tom Drummond's Enterprise Talk and I ended up talking about a lot of different things, which is good because now I have a long list of ideas for future blog posts. There's so much to think about, reflect on, talk about and share on this journey of early childhood education. Thank you for joining me on the journey!
